Thanks a fucking lot, you useless cunt. You've been absolute dogshit for Spurs and now we've missed out on a much better player because you decided to have a hissy fit. I never want to see you in a Spurs shirt again. @richarlison97

Chris Eubank has written a book about the Titanic 😱

An Australian's reply to Trump's rant about “NATO not being there for America” is perfect. "Mate. You run a country with 600,000 homeless people sleeping on the street tonight. A country where 40% of adults can't cover a $400 emergency without borrowing money. A country where insulin costs more than a car payment and people are rationing it to survive. A country where medical debt is the number 1 cause of bankruptcy. A country where women are dying in hospital car parks because doctors are too scared of abortion laws to treat a miscarriage. You lock up more of your own citizens than any nation on earth. More than China. More than Russia. More than North Korea. The land of the free has 2 million people in cages, and a quarter of them haven't even been convicted of anything. They're just too poor to make bail. Your life expectancy is going backwards. You're the only developed nation where that's happening. Your infant mortality rate is worse than Cuba's. Your kids do active shooter drills between maths and English while you sell the gunmaker's stock to your mates. Your minimum wage hasn't moved in 15 years. You've got teachers working 2 jobs and veterans sleeping under bridges and you just spent a trillion dollars flattening a country that didn't attack you. And you’ve got a convicted felon, adjudicating raping, paedophile protecting, porn star shagging insurrectionist running the biggest dumpster fire war campaign since the Taliban thanked you very much for losing again. And you're calling Greenland poorly run? Greenland has universal healthcare. Free education. One of the lowest incarceration rates in the world. Nobody goes bankrupt there because they got sick. Nobody dies in a waiting room because their insurance said no. 'NATO wasn't there when we needed them." When exactly was that, champ? September 11? Because NATO invoked Article 5 for the first and only time in history FOR YOU. Soldiers from dozens of countries deployed, fought, bled, and died in Afghanistan FOR YOU. Australia wasn't even in NATO and we still showed up. For 20 years. And you pulled out at 2am without telling anyone and left them to deal with the mess. So maybe before you start calling other countries poorly run, have a look at your own backyard, you spray-tanned aluminium siding salesman. The only thing poorly run in this picture is your f----- mouth." Author: @IFuckingLoveOz

Worst noises in World Cup History.... 3) The Vuvuzela 2) The bagpipes 1) Lee Dixon

To every single premier club who’s hated on us and wished on our downfall. To the referees, PGMOL, VAR. To Everton and Leeds. Fuck off. WE ARE STAYING UP

Thoughts and prayers to all the fans of other teams who were desperate for Spurs to get relegated.

BREAKING: Ben White could be out of the Champions League Final at the end of the month with a suspected ruptured vagina. He will also be forced to cancel his spray tan appointment tomorrow. More to follow.

Please read this.

“Ted, would you like to pretend to be in a shadow cabinet with me?”

The Slug & Lettuce.

🇮🇹 The speech that all of Italy heard. And that the world must hear. In a country that will host the Olympic Games, Italian Senator and Vice President of the Human Rights Commission Filippo Sensi took the floor and said what should have been said out loud long ago. He called it a disgrace that the International Olympic Committee disqualified Ukrainian skeleton athlete Vladyslav Heraskevych. Not for doping. Not for violating fair play. But for… memory. For a helmet bearing the faces of Ukrainian athletes — his friends, colleagues, champions — killed by Russia. The IOC stated that the helmet “did not comply with regulations.” And then Sensi asked a question that brought silence to the chamber: Does aggressive war comply with regulations? Is there a separate technical protocol for it? The correct angle of a missile strike? The permissible size of a crater? An athlete prepares for the Olympics for years. A Ukrainian athlete trains between air raid sirens, in shelters, under news of the dead. He overcomes fear, exhaustion, and loss. And he steps to the start line not only for a medal — but for the right to exist. And he is suspended… for remembering. Because memory is the most dangerous substance. It is hard to add to a prohibited list. But apparently, someone would very much like to. The senator named names. Just a few among more than 650 Ukrainian athletes killed by Russia: ▪️ Yevhenii Malyshev, 19, biathlete — killed in Kharkiv. ▪️ Mariia Lebid, 15 — missile strike in Dnipro. ▪️ Dmytro Sharpar, 25, figure skater — killed in Bakhmut. ▪️ Volodymyr Androsiuk, 22, track and field athlete — also Bakhmut. ▪️ Daria Kurdel, 20 — missile strike in Kharkiv. ▪️ Alina Perehutova, 14 — standing in line for water with her mother in Mariupol. ▪️ Maksym Halinichev, 22, boxer — killed defending Luhansk region. ▪️ Viktoriia Ivashko, 9, judoka — missile strike in Kyiv. ▪️ Kateryna Diachenko, 11, gymnast — airstrike on Mariupol. ▪️ Karina Bakur, 17, world kickboxing champion — shielded her father with her body. These were the faces Heraskevych wanted to carry with him to the start line. So that they would “compete” alongside him. So that their dream would not die with them. And for that, he was punished. Because it turns out that the faces of murdered athletes violate regulations. But their absence on the track does not. In his speech, Sensi said the most important thing: The Olympic Committee did not lose an athlete. It lost its most valuable medal — its conscience. Sport without memory is just a show. Sport without humanity is just decoration. Sport that fears truth is not about peace. The Olympic movement was born from the ideals of honor, dignity, and unity. Yet today Ukrainian athletes must prove not only their strength — but their right to remember their fallen. And if memory becomes a violation of regulations — then the problem is not the helmet. The world must hear this. Because silence is also a position. And indifference is also a choice. Memory cannot be disqualified. And conscience cannot be added to a prohibited list. 🇺🇦 We remember every one of them. And we will not allow their names to be erased.

Poo, Spew, Richer Than You, Cuntface, Dribble, Twat.

At first I thought it was that train station in Wales

Paulinha’s actions feel symptomatic of a squad that has lost its sense of direction, control, and internal discipline. This is not an isolated issue or the failing of one individual. It reflects a deeper structural problem that runs from the corporate management layer all the way down to the touchline. When football is not the clear and overriding priority at the top, that absence of focus inevitably filters through the entire organisation. The consequences are visible everywhere. Players become frustrated, decision making on the pitch becomes erratic, and standards slip because there is no strong, consistent framework holding everything together. That frustration then spills into the stands, where fans sense the disorder and respond with detachment, anger, or resignation. What you end up with is a club that feels unsettled and reactive rather than purposeful and coherent. This is not a problem that can be solved simply by changing the coach or manager. We have seen time and again that whoever comes in is faced with the same underlying conditions and eventually runs into the same obstacles. Without clear football leadership, aligned incentives, and a genuine commitment to building a stable sporting culture, even the best coaches will struggle. The result is a kind of chaotic malaise. It is pervasive, demoralising, and extremely difficult to correct because it is embedded in how the club is run rather than how the team is set up on a Saturday. Until that changes, the cycle will continue, regardless of who is in charge on the sidelines.

You know, the killing is so relentless that you almost get used to it. A classroom of children killed every single day. You write about it, you read about it. Someone’s mother digs herself up from the rubble. Someone’s father is split in half. There was a video of wounded man using his arms to crawl across the road. Another man is so hungry he weeps. You read the stories. Each one is more brutal than the next and somehow the brutality is banal. You are numb, for better or for worse. But there are moments in the day, maybe just a singular moment, when you actually contend with the magnitude of the tragedy, when you are able to quantify the loss and in those moments you feel crushed—there are no adjectives. There are people mourning their lovers. Students missing their teachers. Orphans. Widowers. Grandmothers who look just like your own. I cry when I think about the people who were martyred just hours before they could apologize for something, or confess to something, or have something to eat. Or the slain who believed they would survive. And as the rancid rotten people of the world pontificate and debate the definition of genocide, you are at war with yourself, trying desperately to ignore the material meaning of the word. You read the news and you read the news and it is so hard to accept that the dead, the thousands of people they are slaughtering, they are your loved ones and your loved ones’ loved ones. This isn’t just a bad dream.

Took me a minute 🤣

🤣🤣🤣

This is quite possibly the most powerful and important thing I’ve ever seen. Max Porter’s Wild West is a glimpse into British violence - colonial, institutional and chillingly ordinary. We are a country haunted by our own brutal fictions. Watch this. Trust me.

Everyone should watch this, and anyone who remains a covid denier should go jump off a cliff.

Anyone know how Liz Truss's first day at Microsoft is going?